I keep seeing these memes on social media and honestly, they are triggers for me. I found myself having a full-fledged nightmare two nights ago after reading it and thinking about my childhood.
Home was rarely safe for me.
Before I could speak, I would cry when my mother turned the car down our street to go home. She soon learned to drive around the neighborhood until I fell asleep.
I would rather be at church than home, at school than home, at a friend’s place than home, at grandma’s house than home, at the playground than home. Just about any place other than home.
Home is where I learned what a hard fist hitting soft flesh sounded like.
Home is where I cleaned up my mother’s blood on more occasions than I can count.
Home is where I became a professional runaway before I was seven years old. I had a navy blue suitcase that I would pack for the long walk to my grandma’s house. My safe place.
Home is where I was nearly killed for calling the police on my father. I learned not to call anymore.
Home is where I wondered, “Is tonight the night my father is going to kill my mother.”
Home was rarely safe for me.
Home is what I physically survived when my parents finally divorced before I completed elementary school.
Emotionally, however, I am still traumatized by home.
Because of that I can’t help but think about how this quarantine is hell for many. I keep thinking that there are women who said, “Come payday, I’m leaving,” but they are now STUCK at home. Quarantine started before payday came and now with layoffs, their payday might not ever come.
I keep thinking about the children STUCK at home experiencing horrors that will haunt them for a lifetime.
I keep thinking about the men STUCK at home being abused and stuck in silence because we assume men can’t be victimized too.
I keep thinking about all the many people who are stuck and home waiting for the lockdowns to end so that they might too survive home.
Everyone is not safe at home.
This is the meme that more accurately describes the home I grew up in and the home millions are living in right now.
After the first week of quarantine, France had a 30% increase in domestic violence reports. And those are just the cases reported. I know from personal experience, some will only report the nights when it gets close to death.
*This is not a diabetes post, but it is something that I’ve been thinking about everyday since the quarantine and needed to write about. But just in case you’re wondering, my blood sugar levels are fine, but they spiked two nights ago after waking up from that nightmare–a flashback to the home I grew up in triggered by these memes.
Please check on your friends, family, neighbors and ask, “Are you safe at home?”
The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the USA is 1-800-799-7233 or you can text LOVEIS to 22522